What a soul-crushing week. I know it’s probably a lot to ask for you to try and be funny right now, but maybe this week’s picture will stoke some ideas.
The best two entries will win bragging rights, unadulterated glory, and paid subscriptions to AWKSD. Also, don’t forget: every new paid subscription this month gets a free Tom DeLonge “Tom Was Right” sticker.
All right, here’s the final image (for now) for you to caption.
It says here in the guidebook that this guy tried to declare himself the president for life of Kentucky, but president Yiannpoulos’ Proud Police thankfully stepped in and unplugged his droid pack, ending his 200 year rule as speaker of house… and that’s why we celebrate Jan. 6 as Independence Day and visit this humble grave to remind ourselves that progressive Bots like Mitch McConnell may have once ruled this country but now only real Americans have the right to enjoy beautiful ocean views like the one here in Arizona.
As you see, Joe Biden’s tomb is directly to the left, the center of the this cemetery. If you look closely you can still see his right hand eternally extended, posthumously attempting a compromise. They were the last 2 Americans alive.
"Join us after the service for, just, like, a really good life"
It says here in the guidebook that this guy tried to declare himself the president for life of Kentucky, but president Yiannpoulos’ Proud Police thankfully stepped in and unplugged his droid pack, ending his 200 year rule as speaker of house… and that’s why we celebrate Jan. 6 as Independence Day and visit this humble grave to remind ourselves that progressive Bots like Mitch McConnell may have once ruled this country but now only real Americans have the right to enjoy beautiful ocean views like the one here in Arizona.
Klatu... verata... McConnell!
So anyways, I start blastin…
Here lies the titan of ignominy.
Captain, sensors indicate this antebellum grave site has been tampered with. It appears to have been.... vacated, nearly 40 years ago.
I paid the man for “Mitch Miller” and look what they put on gravestone!
"I know the overflow parking lot is full, but if you've parked in the Olive Garden's lot, they've told me that they will tow you."
As you see, Joe Biden’s tomb is directly to the left, the center of the this cemetery. If you look closely you can still see his right hand eternally extended, posthumously attempting a compromise. They were the last 2 Americans alive.