Ana Carrete’s guide to love, discomfort, and Denny’s
The San Diego poet’s new collection ‘Blush & Blink’ will make you uncomfortable. And you’re gonna love it.
Remember when musicians put a lot of thought into how they sequenced their albums? This was back when musicians made albums.
The musicians who knew what they were doing would blast out of the gate, blowing their audience’s minds right from the get-go. The best opening tracks primed the listener for everything to come. It set the mood.
This is the importance of an opening statement.
Even though people don’t seem to care as much about album openers as they once did (because albums don’t exist anymore [jk record nerds, settle down]), the concept still applies to all artists.
And it’s difficult to think of an opener as memorable as Ana Carette’s “Sexy Denny’s”—the first poem in her new collection Blush & Blink:
You ever actually go to a diner to get breakfast but it’s not normal and instead it’s a Sexy Denny’s? They’re playing SZA and Doja Cat. And all of a sudden you’re wet at Denny’s?
[Insert the “I’ll have what she’s having” scene from When Harry Met Sally here].
If “Sexy Denny’s” is any indication, Blush & Blink is wild. Published by San Diego indie press Lang Books, Blink & Blush is less a poetry collection and more an immersive, un-put-down-able collage of longing, sadness, and sex.
And, again, if “Sexy Denny’s is any indication, the book is also very, very funny.
I’m going to admit something shameful here: I’m not good at understanding poetry. It’s often quite frustrating for me. Perhaps I just don’t try hard enough, or maybe my brain is just more adept with linear narratives. Whatever the case, it’s a flaw. But I fell hard for Blink & Blush. For me, Carrete’s poetry is a mirror for my anxiety: it can be simultaneously self-loathing and self-aggrandizing. It yearns for attention, but then hates attention. It can be uncomfortable, but it will never leave you in discomfort.
But what makes Carrete’s poetry so indelible (at least for me) is her underlying talent for humor. Similar to Kevin Maloney, Carrete uses humor to broach difficult or uncomfortable topics, which allows her to mine empathy from her readers, which makes them feel loved, cared for, and less alone.
This is why Blush & Blink is the only poetry collection I’ve read more than once.
I was lucky enough to swap questions with Carette over a few days via email. I hope you enjoy and Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Go shower someone with poetry.
Ryan Bradford: Set the mood. How should readers of AWKSD be reading this interview? Where are they? What are they ingesting/drinking? What are they wearing? What's the room like? What's the vibe?
Ana Carrete: I actually went through my saved pictures on Instagram to find the right space and mood. While scrolling, I clicked on this account and followed it. The second image is the answer to your question, but this first image is awesome. I had to share it because imagine being at work. You go to the bathroom, and, unlike every other time, it now looks like this. This creature just zooms into you and bites your head off. What a way to go!
But no. This creature's dark belly is not where I want people to picture themselves. Instead imagine yourself in this second space. You're a Jim Henson muppet and everything is good and nothing hurts.
You're wearing a really elaborate muppet costume. The vibe is just right. You're a muppet with amazing hair. It's poofy and you have great volume. Everyone wants to be your friend.
Oh, and you're drinking a red alcoholic drink from a golden goblet with jewels. Hibiscus tea if you're sober.
Well, I'm pleased to tell you this: roughly 25% percent of AWKSD readership has access to this exact scenario. (I make them show me pics of their bathroom before signing up).
Okay, so Blush & Blink is a lovely, beautiful book, and it's also very funny, which most people (normies) don't really associate with poetry. As a normie myself who doesn't read a lot of poetry, I appreciated the humor. Can you talk about that? Why and how do you use humor? What are the things that you find funny?
I'm glad you enjoyed the book, but most importantly, you're absolutely not a normie, so let's not confuse the readers. Because, for example, you like Oingo Boingo, and not just the mainstream songs. That's the only thing I need to say.
Thank you for asking about humor.
My poetry needs to be unexpected and fun and funny, or else I'm bored and boring. I like my poetry, like I would like my coffee. Sorry about that one. I don't drink coffee, but I drank from the Poetry Kool-Aid a long time ago. The shade of red is almost burgundy.
In the past, when a friend told their friend—a person I was meeting for the first time—that I'm a poet, the friend would often say something like, "Aww, cute.” This made me so angry. Every time. If you wanna piss me off, tell me you think poetry is cute. Poetry is not cute. The poetry I write and the poetry I love isn't cute. Cute isn't it. My poetry is everything but cute. Do I wanna look cute? Yes. Do I wanna write cute? Hell no.
Valentine's Day heart-shaped things are cute and kitsch and acceptable. If poetry is being kitsch as a joke, that's funny. I'm into that.
I come from a family of people with a very dark sense of humor. I learned storytelling from my family. Everyone has always brought up twisted things someone said or did before. A lot of times they are inappropriate, embarrassing, cocky, funny, sad, and again, very dark. I live for the darkness? I'm alive in spite of it? Is that emo and dumb?
From a very young age, people thought it was fine and normal and good to teach me about sarcasm. Making me the joke sometimes, but you know..."kids are like sponges", etc. I knew people were laughing at me, and they'd hurt my feelings but I'd also be like, "Damn, that's objectively funny.”
So now, I'll say something that's straight-up rude. Those who know me, know that it's not meant to be hurtful. But it still can be. It's important for me to not hurt people, to apologize and to do things to repair the damage I may cause. It's difficult to unlearn humor when it's normalized. It's like a reflex that you use to cope with any scenario. I use humor to show how fucked up we can be to ourselves and others. Someone is being condescending towards me? Sarcastic, self-depricating joke goes their way. Okay, so, that's some context.
Now, I can actually answer your question with a row of basic statements. I love funny art. I love funny poets. I love a good sense of humor. I like to laugh. I cope through laughter. We all need to laugh. It's healthy. I find many things funny. To cope, I make a joke out of a fucked-up scenario. Let's say, a micro-aggression happens, sometimes all you can do in that moment is call someone an asshole. That person becomes the victim of my joke. They'd love it. They'd call themselves a victim.
I mean, it's a cliche by now, but I always think it's so fascinating that the funniest people are often attracted to the darkest things... or they're the saddest people... or they're just totally fucked up (in a good way).
But do you feel like your poetry is representative of your real self, or is there any element of persona in it?
I'm not my poems. It's a combination of persona and real self (because I'm just like everybody else). But a very high percentage is persona.
Being a poet who often likes to write about dark and sexy/sexual things, have you ever had people give you static about it? Like, have you had any awkward talks with close people about your poems?
People always express concern. People will believe whatever they want and we can't control that. People can think whatever they want and they don't need my permission. In Blush & Blink, I played with that a lot. My poems make people uncomfortable sometimes. Some of my trauma, or what they perceive as trauma, makes them uncomfortable. And I get the discomfort that my poems make cause but it comes with me. I'm not going to stop writing poems. I'm not going to switch up my themes or whatever. I'm learning to stop people-pleasing.
People reach out and tell me about how they learned something about themselves or they realized something was bad in their relationship because they read my poems. I know I've escaped shitty situations because I read a poem, I watched a movie or a show, I listened to a song, etc. That's real and meaningful. That's art. It feels good when my writing can do that for others. I'm not an inspo bitch, though. That's not how I do it. It comes out ugly. I want to highlight the difficult and ugly. It matters.
My poetry is representative of my ideas. "Thoughts are my own" (like it's my silly little twitter bio disclaimer). But nothing is my own? We take things and interpret and do whatever we want with them. That's fine and out of my control.
I'm not an inspo bitch, though. That's not how I do it. It comes out ugly. I want to highlight the difficult and ugly. It matters.
I think highlighting the ugly and difficult is super important, and the way you do it in Blush & Blink is really inspiring (sorry, I know you said you weren't an inspo bitch!). But you're also really good at sort of turning it back on yourself or softening it with a really funny closing line. You bring up the devil emoji at least once in the book, and now that's how I sort of think of your poetry: funny, kinda sinister, kinda menacing, kinda explicit, but ultimately compassionate. And I think that pleasure/pain dynamic makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
Do you enjoy making people uncomfortable, even a little bit?
A little bit and it makes me feel evil sometimes. How very recovering catholic of me.
But also, yes. If people are being mean, I 10000% enjoy making them feel uncomfortable. They deserve at least that. Feels dumb, though.
I think there's a value in making people uncomfortable. Not in, like, a traumatizing way, but to get them out of their own heads. And I feel like comedy, horror, sex, and emo are good at doing that—all of which you use in Blush & Blink.
What do you want your poetry to do to people? If someone were to say "Your poetry made me feel _______", what would be the best thing? What would make you think "mission accomplished"?
Less alone. Seen. Understood.
Can you talk about the process of making Blush & Blink? I know nothing about assembling or publishing poetry collections, but your book feels very well-sequenced, almost like a narrative. How do you decide which poems are included? Were there any "too hot for TV" poems that you cut?
This was the first time I came in with the plan of dividing a book into chapters and having somewhat of a storyline. It's maybe a circular one, but I guess it worked. Daniel Lang printed all my manuscript and then I was able to physically move parts around and edit it that way. I will keep doing that now. It's way easier. Highly recommend. I had seen it in pictures and a show but had never done it, and now I can't believe I ever did it by just scrolling through all my little screens.
Blush & Blink started with a five-page poem that was heavily edited by Steven Arcieri. Then I turned that poem into a short story. I read that version the other day and it's way more intense. Poems make everything feel more abstract to me. I just kept prolonging the story and exploring feelings. Adding more jokes and scenarios. Does this sound stupid?
I wrote the original five-page poem in 2020, added to, and edited the piece all of 2021. I included the visuals because those had been discarded from a previous project but it made so much sense to include them.
I was going for a similar interruption that frustrates and happens when we get advertisements that disrupt our well-being. I remember getting an ad that at first just read "Feeling Isolated?". I couldn't help but laugh and screenshot.
The answer was YES, btw.
I edited out some verses that made me feel like the devil emoji. I was thinking of how these verses would come back and haunt me.
Okay, how about a quick series of questions that sprung to mind as I was reading Blush & Blink: What's your favorite thing to order at Denny's?
Build your own Grand Slam. Just had it yesterday. I stopped eating dairy in 2020 and now my breakfast options are limited. I try to vary the four choices that come with the Grand Slam.
What's the best Doja Cat song?
This is a difficult question. There's too many. I played Doja's 2021 album, Planet Her, sooooo much last year. The songs I played most from that one are: "Up and Down", ...Been Like This", "Why Why" (feat. Gunna).
What's the best horror movie to watch with a partner?
Any. Depends on the situation? Depends on if you're just "watching something to watch something", playing it but not paying attention, watching it with ulterior motives, playing it to bond and have fun, or playing it to get scared and snuggle. Do you wanna discover their sense of humor and see how much ridiculous gore they can handle? Mandy (2018). Do you wanna check some of their values and the misogyny level? Something like Gone Girl (2014) or Men (2022). Wanna learn about their compassion levels? Carrie (1976). Wanna see how much weird they can handle? So many movies. So little time. I keep thinking about recent horror. Like Titane (2021). Wanna laugh out loud? Any of the Chucky movies will do. There's so much variety within horror. There's so much horror that isn't considered horror by some. I love that what's scary to me might be stupid to others, and vice versa.
What's the best thing you've ever screen-capped?
There's been so many, but I really love "Feeling Isolated?".
While we’re on the topic of romance (Denny’s = romance), and also since we’re near Valentine's Day, AND ALSO because you're a poet and poets are more adept at understanding love, romance, and yearning, can you tell us how to do Valentine's Day? Like, what's the best way to spend it? What's the worst way?
The best way is to actually give a fuck. For most of my life, I've been a hater (still am). Rolling my eyes at Valentine's Day since I was a teen. Thinking it was stupid, corny and a fake holiday that was just created to make money. But all holidays are like that? So, I'd say, If you're single and want to be left alone, be on your couch or stay in bed and watch a horror movie. Buy yourself a treat. Indulge.
If you don't want to be alone, flirt with someone and ask them out. Even when you're a hater, if someone gives you a corny gift, you will laugh and enjoy it because it's funny, a joke and/or cute. Just, like, try not to be a hater for one day? Stay true to yourself. Don't force it.
If you hate it and you have a special person and they hate it too, say something. Bully the holiday together. Do something anti-Valentine's. It's likely to bring joy. Couples that hate together, stay together? Not necessarily but...
The worst way to spend it is to be bitter about it. Unless you enjoy feeling that way and it's exciting to you. Zero judgment here. The worst ones for me at least have been me saying, "I don't give a shit about this trashy holiday! Everyone stop talking about it in person and online! I don't wanna watch your partner reveal!"
Okay, one more question: what would you like to say to everyone who calls your poetry "cute"?
Lmao. I would laugh and say "I see you. You read the Awkward interview and want to make me mad, huh? Kindly fuck off" :).
Buy Blush & Blink from Lang Books.
Got a tip or wanna say hi? Email me at ryancraigbradford@gmail.com, or follow me on Twitter @theryanbradford. And if you like what you’ve just read, please hit that little heart icon at the end of the post.
Julia Dixon Evans edited this post. Thanks, Julia. Go follow her on Instagram.